Before I went into SF last week, and before my brother bought me an iPhone for my birthday (thankyou!), I read this article in The Onion: Brave Woman Enters Restaurant without First Looking It up Online.
Since I had no recourse and I was starving, I put on my bravest face and ducked into the nearest decent-looking restaurant. I ended up at a hole in the wall called Akiko’s Sushi Bar. It had only four small tables, so a group of three guys (in their 30s and 40s, I’d guess) invited me to join theirs. Since I was already feeling adventurous, I figured, why not?
THEY WERE ALL SPIES.
Spy #1: So, do you live here?
Me: I just moved here–looking for jobs. You guys?
Spy #1: We’re here for a conference. [Points to Spy #3] He’s the only one who actually lives here.
Me: What’s your conference about?
[Awkward silence. Spies #1-3 exchange furtive looks.]
Spy #3: Err… homeland security type stuff.
Me: OMYGOD ARE YOU SPIES?
Spy #3: You don’t know that. You could be a spy.
Me: [As I pull out my camera.] You know, I’m actually a blogger, so I’m totally going to write about the time I had lunch with a bunch of spies.
Spy #2: She’s going to go back and activate her facial recognition technology on you.
Me: [Camera poised squarely above my bowl.] What?! You see? You ARE spies!!!
Spy #1: Seriously. She’s just trying to take a photo of her food and you go ballistic on her.
They were so CIA and not subtle about it at all. Don’t they have to undergo some kind of training on how to be normal or something?